The Luxury of Shopping for 800 Thread Count Sheets

I guess that you could call me a man's man. No – that is not quite correct. That sort of implies that I am a dude – I am not. I don't watch football, I don't like to punch my friends in the arm unless they really have it coming, and I do not really have any trouble talking about my feelings. It is just that, well, if it is a difference between living in squalor and taking the time to clean up and decorate my room, 9 times out of 10 I will chose the squalor. What a difference getting engaged has made.

We went shopping for house goods the other day. The whole way to the store, my wife kept talking about the 800 thread count sheets that she wanted. I don't even know what 800 thread count sheets are, but she is very insistent on it. They cannot be 300 thread count sheets, like the ones that I had when we first met that she was complaining about from about the time that we got serious. To be honest, I can not see the difference. She has 800 thread count sheets on her bed and claims that they are so much nicer than mine, but a sheet is a sheet as far as I am concerned. I suppose if it makes her feel happy to get 800 thread count sheets, God bless her shopping trip, but it is a bit of a hassle to be dragged along on such an excursion.

I think it is because I spent some time in the service; in the Army specifically. I was glad to just be able to sleep in a bed (a bunk bed, no less)! I didn’t care if it had 800 thread count sheets or if it had sandpaper on the mattress! Sleeping in a bed was the best when you spent a week sleeping in a sleeping bag in the mud. I don’t recall going through the equipment line and signing for 800 thread count sheets with my Kevlar vest!

It is not just that she needs her expensive 800 thread count sheets. I am willing to split expenses with my dear fiancée for house goods, as for everything else. It is that she needs special 800 thread count sheets in just the right color made out of genuine Egyptian cotton. We spent all day going from one store to another, looking through sheet after sheet that, to my eye, all looked identical, and still, no perfect 800 thread count sheets. I was going absolutely crazy by the end after spending so much time staring at endless aisles of soft, fluffy pastels that all looked more or less the same to my eye. I got home from our marathon 800 thread count sheets trip and wanted to turn on some football just to spite her, but I was too tired. I went to sleep before she could even put her new 800 thread count sheets on the bed.